I Don’t Like to … But I Don’t Want to …

I Don’t Like to … But I Don’t Want to …

Guest Blogger: Smooth

So tonight on the way home from church, Cana and I had a conversation that actually turned out to be pretty profound for a two-year-old. We were about a mile from our house, so I started trying to mentally prepare Cana for bedtime. I told her that when we got home it was time to go “night night.” The rest of the conversation went like this.

But… I don’t like to go night night.
Me: Well, I’m sorry Cana, but we have to go night night.
Cana: But… I do de-otions first
Me: Yeah, we’ll do your devotions first. Won’t that be fun?
Cana: No
Me: NO?! Cana, I thought you liked your devotions!
Cana: Yeah, but… going night night… not fun.
Me: I know it’s not fun, baby. But we have to go night night. Cana, when we get home, are you going to be a good girl and obey?
Cana: Yeah
Me: Cana, were you a bad girl for mommy today?
Cana: Yeah
Me: Does that make Jesus happy or sad?
Cana: Sad… and mommy sad too.
Me: Yeah, it makes Mommy sad too.
Cana: But… I don’t… LIKE to obey… but.. I don’t… WANT to… disobey.

So already at two years old Cana is struggling with and reasoning through (in her two-year-old way) the very same thing that the apostle Paul was struggling with and reasoning through nearly 2000 years ago:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do… For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing... So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God–through Jesus Christ our Lord!

As I sit here writing this, I’m getting teary-eyed. Not because this particular conversation with Cana was emotionally moving. No, I’m thinking of the day when the struggle will really begin for her. Who will deliver her from this body of death? Certainly not me. If I’m a good dad, I can give her tools to make wise decisions in life. But try as I might, I will never be able to empower her to live a godly life. I’m looking forward to the day when the Almighty God of this universe comes to dwell inside my little girl to rescue her in the way that only he can do. And my heart will rejoice. No, my heart rejoices now: “Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!”